Things I Don't Want to Hear When I Get to Heaven

For many years I've heard people repeat the words they want to hear Jesus say when they get to heaven.  The words they long to hear come from Matthew 25.

“Now after a long time the master of those slaves came and settled accounts with them. The one who had received the five talents came up and brought five more talents, saying, ‘Master, you entrusted five talents to me. See, I have gained five more talents.’ His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.’”     

Matthew 25:19-21 (NASB)

"Well done, good and faithful slave," would indeed be a great greeting to hear when you cross the Jordan River and enter the eternal kingdom.

Realistically, I know my life hasn't always been all that faithful or all that obedient.  Reflecting on my own shortcomings, here are 10 things I do NOT want to hear when I reach the pearly gates:

1.  Sorry, we looked and your name isn't on the reservation list.

2.  What are you doing here?  You aren't scheduled to arrive to another 10 years!

3.  We're not having a two-for-one sale.  Your wife can come in, but not you.

4.  Let me check the spelling on that last name.  You don't seem to be in our system.

5.  Well, that certainly could have gone better.

6.  Good try, but that wasn't exactly what we intended when we put you on the earth.

7.  Yes, we were expecting you to bring your friends.

8.  No, we do not accept American Express, or gold for that matter.

9.  You should have thought about that before you got here.

10.  Yes, we did leave you an instruction manual.  Maybe you should have read it.